thoughts

no order or anything just thoughts about THINGS.
how can you manipulate people so much and make them trust you and just play them like you play everyone else? i'd hate to think of you talking about me when i'm not around just like you do with anyone else. you're so fucking hard to get because there are too many sides to you, despite what you think, & so i don't think we could ever be amazing friends because i don't know what to think of you sometimes. it's a shame because when we hang you are brilliant. i don't get it.//i thought brighton was my home but a lot of the people in kent are way easier & just have a completely different mindset to people here. i dunno i think i'm just appreciating my hometown more, it may be horrendously dull in a lot of aspects but i have met some of the most amazing people there who have been there for me year after year & i know always will be. i love you guys.//attention is nice. selfish, but nice.//i am almost definitely completely insane, i do things i don't mean to do, i say things i don't mean (not in a horrible way, just in a ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL kind of way) & i don't really think about consequences to being how i am. but at the same time i'm not sorry because i have fun, i'm not hurting anyone as far as i know, & if you think i'm a bit of a twat youre probably right, but it's a laugh so just deal.// NOW contradicting myself i have the complete opposite to me. i like being left alone, i like not talking to people for a while, i like my own company. i like being quiet & just listening rather than joining in. although right now what i'd really quite like is a hug watching a film. sigh.//jsdahsd i hate liking someone who's probably not that interested but i know i definitely do because it makes me fucking nervous. weird.

hug plz.