romance

oh no. realisation is everyone actually thinks i'm a loud geezerbird who drinks her weight in spirits then shouts at everyone and falls over. never going to meet shy lovely boy with weird hobbies who likes cats and we can sit in and watch obscure films maybe drinking a few amaretto cranberries & a vegan platter with hummus & go for walks maybe visits to places on the train, he might like theatre too so we could watch les mis together and maybe he won't mind i'm a bit insane. he could have weird ocd habits and hold my hand, maybe play an instrument & i'll sing except no that's really embarrassing. i'd wear my star wars t shirt & no make up ever. i'm quite scared of people really, i get anxious walking past anyone i don't know.

but no i'm going to go out with a builder who gets drunk at the local with his mates & i have to come get him & take him home whilst he shouts at passersby & threatens to get his cock out. he bets all my money but says one day he'll win & take me on holiday (to magaluf). he calls me babes but no ironically & we have a date night once a week where we buy curry (yuck) & watch a war film because he doesn't want to watch the rom com i obviously wanted to watch....

YEAH, LIFE.